it’s gonna be cool

It’s been years since I’ve posted a blog! I don’t know if you’re like me, but I’ve got multiple blogs all for different purposes under different names and from different websites.

One is a blog I share with my friend that I’ve had since high school. We post in it on and off over the years. It picked up a bit of momentum during the beginning of covid because we were bored and it was a great way to help our brains process the weird new way of life we were trying to psychologically adjust to.

fav covid meme

I have a super secret one for my deepest darkest thoughts, and the healthier I get in my life the more infrequent any need for the blog arises. It is cool to read back in it once in a while just to see how messed up I used to feel, and compare it to today.

I have one from when I went on medical leave from a past job when I had a mental breakdown. I used it as a daily guide to help me keep track of my progress or lack thereof dealing with a sudden thunderstorm of debilitating anxiety.

The most recent one I started was to help me keep track of my health, particularly eating. Being in recovery from anorexia sometimes requires careful attention to the smallest of details, like what and how much I eat in a day and what thoughts and feelings surround meal times.

And then of course there’s this one which is for communicating to an imagined audience about the ongoings of my music projects. If I scroll back, I’m sure I’ve written about plenty more than that here as I tend to spill my guts once I get typing.

Anyway, I was just fixing the “albums” page on my website and when I saw the last blog post was YEARS ago I thought, ‘dang that is not a good look’.

I have a real rollercoaster of a time…with everything. Unless a person is famous and has people working for them to do media and marketing, I doubt any normal human can keep up any kind of regular contact with their “audience”. Or maybe they do!? But honestly I don’t think I’m that special or different, so raise your hand in solidarity if you go hard on Insta/Facebook/Twitter-posting and then suddenly disappear from the online cloud for a while. I mean, things happen! We get busy, we get depressed, we realize we hate social media, we miss social media, we go on a retreat…there are so many reasons why spitting out a constant feed of content just isn’t plausible as a one-person show.

But I’m pretty stoked about music right now. And by music I mean I just finished recording an album and I have this floating chunk of months between now and when I plan to release it to make that fateful day a good one. For one thing, it’s not going to be a day. It’s going to be a season. I’m sick of releasing an album of songs at once and there’s a party and then it’s over. This time I’m dragging it out. I AM  in fact going to commit to a consistent stream of content spewing! I recorded 14 songs so I want to spend 14 weeks letting it ooze out into the world.

I would say more but my dog Edie is whining her face off at me. She has had enough of me working on the computer, as that translates into no pets or attention.

Talk to you soon, my imagined audience who admittedly I hope is real…


2 thoughts on “it’s gonna be cool

  1. Great post Kendall. Thank you for sharing about the illusions of social media.
    It’s false or real. As if math can predict what’s cool. It’s supposed to foster connection. Why do people feel more alone than ever. Time is real.

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